"Who am I?"

 

 

You will quickly find that this is the central question at the very foundation of the path of self-inquiry. It is where everything begins. And when all has been said and done, it is also where the path will end.

 

When attempting to answer the "who am I?" question we immediately have some ideas; one is that we are or may be the body. But modern science and quantum physics will tell you that there is not really at its core such a thing as matter – that matter is truly only an energy moving at various frequencies that produce what we see as matter. Over time we accept it as such, and to such an extent that we forget the vibrating energy bit completely. But if and when we do remember it seems dubious that “me” is the body. If you lose your arms and legs, are you not still 'you'? So it gets confusing.

 

Quantum physics gets even more complicated in stating that the very act of our observing something changes the very essence of what is observed.  Also, when we magnify any part of the body millions of times we come to nothing other than little parts moving at high speeds and strange frequencies, and when we intensify magnification on that particle it only changes further into more and smaller particles until we are left with mere vibrating energy. 

 

This vibrating energy is what is referred to in yoga as “consciousness”. Usually, the way we try to get closer to consciousness or "me" is via logic and reason and intellect – the mind, so to speak. We’d like to think our way to an answer because generally that is how we make sense of our world.

 

For those who take a scientific approach to the mind a few facts quickly become clear: First, the direction of the mind is directed towards the outside world – to your world.  Consequently it deals with outside worldly things and it does this quite well.  The mind is a truly wondrous thing.  If however, you deconstruct any single thought in you, you’ll notice that at the core of that thought - even abstract thought - there is a root connection to some object in your world.  The mind can only relate to things which have at their core some worldly or "outside" relationship to some material thing. The mind gets its information from the senses; all the senses are geared to your outside – your world. But if the mind deals only with the outside world, using the tools of logic and reason, what use can the mind be in teaching you about this inner self you are investigating?  In fact, rather than helping it seems to get in the way of your investigations because it can only supply you with a vast array of information related to the subject but no knowledge of the subject itself – you.

 

These factors point to a high probability that you may not actually be able to use your mind to study your self; that you may be better off in your quest for self-knowledge if you could somehow switch this mind off to stop it from interfering and making concepts about your self. Or if possible, find some way to apply the mind in some more useful way in the search. What is clear is that you are not what you think. Thinking is not going to get you to the experience and understanding of you, but only to some conjured definition that you can create a concept from that you can call "me". So what you then have is only a self-concept; not any experiencial knowledge of your self. You don't want a concept - an idea - you want to know.

 

Realizations that you are not what you think and that you can change what you think by will and so change your self-definition are indeed auspicious. It dawns on one that the mind can perhaps be managed somehow, switched on and off so to speak, and that it is the ‘property’ of an owner – that you are the owner and that perhaps the mind can even become a very useful tool in your quest for self knowledge. I mean, whose mind is it after all?  It is your mind just like your body and your senses. Just as you can tell your body what to do and what not you can also tell your mind what to do and what not to, at least that’s the theory for now because somehow this seems to be a bit more difficult to do. Still, at least we know that any search for the self will probably not produce any fantastic results if we follow ideas that suggest the body or the mind are “me”. However, we do have bodies and we do have minds and they are both incredibly complex and evolved aspects of the human being, so if these can somehow serve as tools for our investigation that would be great! 

 

Generally speaking though, the tools of the mind (logic and reason) are of no direct use because they operate on principles of duality when what we are searching for is something non-dual. You cannot apply logic or reason to a singularity such as “I” or “me” because logic and reason function only with duality and as relevance; one thing is relevant to another. You reason ‘about’, and you apply logic ‘to’, and while these are very valuable tools of the mind they still deal only with the world outside you. Logic and reason help us a great deal to make sense of everything about our self concepts and our worlds, except this ‘self’ inside of you which is the one wanting to make sense. In the search for self, using the mind cannot get you answers to the “who am I?” question. That is daunting for the individualistic western mind to grasp. I mean, what is left if we lay aside logic and reason? Yes! What  indeed? It seems we could use a science by which we can study this thing we call ‘self’.  A “Science of the Self”. This is where yoga comes in because that is exactly what it is.

 

So how might the tools of the body, the senses, the mind and its logic and reason possibly be of some use to us, if any? We will look at some yogic ideas on the subject. Also, on this site we will often look at some very old texts and ancient writings of those who have faced the same dilemma we are facing now. Here is an example:

 

A Verse from the Katha Upanishad states:

 

“The truly admirable man controls his senses by the power of his will.” This is because: “The senses are said to be higher than the sense-objects. The mind is higher than the senses. The intelligent will is higher than the mind. What is higher than the intelligent will? The Atman Itself." (Atman is the "individual soul.)

 

In other words, forget about the concept of any inherent power in the objects you see. Manage them by the power of your senses. Then, manage your senses by the power of your mind and manage your mind by the power of the will of your intellect. Finally, manage your intellect by the power of your own individual Self.

 

See why it is important to know more about this Self? In addition to knowing who you are we also make such investigations to enable us to manage our world instead of being a slave to our body, senses, will and intellect - together forming this composite idea of "me" we have made. Yoga suggests managing these parts or aspects of your self rather than them managing you. Because in the end, essentially, they are not other than You.

 

The big question for most of us now becomes “how?” Yoga has some suggestive ideas; that perhaps we can use the mind in such a way as to have it become absorbed into "self" - like a stick used to stir a fire gets shorter and shorter until it eventually disappears into the fire completely. We do this by turning the mind on itself, and that process begins by asking the question "who am I?".

 

 

Namaste.