Sri Humananda
Advaita Vedanta Tantra Yogi
On the "Turn"
"The mind inquires into the constitution and source of everything else which, on examination, will be found to be its own projection; it does not reflect on itself and trace itself to its source. Self-discovery can be achieved by giving the mind an inward turn."
(Sri Ramana Maharshi)
A nice term that has been with me for some years now is the "turn". It expresses (to me) the ability to turn consciousness from the experience, to the experiencer of the experience - you. So experience and experiencer become one thing, rather than experiencing the experience as a separate thing 'out there', and feeling sort of removed from it... from life - or at its mercy, so to speak, consumed by it, as though it is being dealt to you from out there.
Life, when experienced, from "out there" then seems like an entity separate from... well, you. Then you live in duality. And while there is a "me" of sorts on the one hand, and the experience on the other, only the experience and its effect on one seem to draw attention, sometimes cool, but mostly not.
Because the experience seems real by itself, though one is in it, one thinks one is living in some sort of one-ness... but it is of course not so... and so all kinds of illusions are bred from there, and one gets so caught up in the 'out there' as real and independent, that it consumes (seemingly) all your attention.
Then... you cannot entertain any "turn" idea because there would be seemingly nowhere to turn. The "self" has then been hidden by the exchange of consciousness from self to the experience itself. The owner of the consciousness concept (you) is then lost to one in the seeming totality of the 'out there' experience, and it is really living half a life that seems like a whole.
The "turn" involves a huge risk though, and an admission of... well, error. But, your life-theory as you've defined it crumbles at this turn as life's illusion is exposed. You get hints of that fact when you approach the point of the turn, and it is a bit much... so you hesitate.
A strange thing, this "turn" thing...
After the turn, of course, you can see. There is an experience of oneness and connectedness. And you can't believe the things you thought/did/saw before. And living long enough in a turned state you see more. You see others, and then you see difficulties they have, and their pain and suffering. Empathy develops, then care. And you want to tell them about the "turn" thing, but it is almost beyond explanation, but check your fever. One can only see what one sees when one is ready to see it.
We know... we know, in a way... the Truth is not in the "out there". You cannot get to This Truth from the 'out there". It's the other way around. The Truth is Inside. And because it is Inside, and we live outside, in order for us to realize this inner Truth, we need to "turn". Then the Truth is both Here and there and things make sense and one can live rather than die slowly.
A very nice practice to get an idea of the power of the turn can be experienced with the help of this little zen-like koan:
Soften the stare,
Loosen the knot,
Gentle breaths,
And live.
When reminding oneself of this by practice it's always amazing to notice how much tension we carry in the facial muscles - it's a wonder we don't look 150 years old! How tight the knots in heart (and the belly) can get! But look and feel how a little soft breath can help one instantly realize just where your frivolous mind was a mere few seconds ago.
And then, just like that, the turn has been made - so gently, so simply... and one can Live.
